im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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