i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
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