what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
