wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize