At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
