I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
