Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
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