you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
i came on her dog
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
She even gives head with a lisp.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
