sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
