Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
