This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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