Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize