Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
