Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
