Whoa Z and x make the same sound
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
