Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
