I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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