in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
i would one night stand the shit outta him
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
