Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
