first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
