When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
