i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
