i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
