Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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