she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
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