whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
