i already hear my dad disowning me
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
