try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Pooping to opera.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
