I can tuck mytits in my pants
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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