She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
