Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize