He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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