We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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