She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
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