I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
