god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
