He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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