its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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