Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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