Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
