The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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