thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Randomize
