So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Randomize
