Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
okay pat passed out under dana's car
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
