Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
