Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
