I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
