theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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