so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
