when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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