the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
and eventually we just all took our pants off
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize