I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
