do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
