Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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