saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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