Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
