love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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