i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm both gender and math confused
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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