So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
