somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
