hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
