So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
