Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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