I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
