Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
