Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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