He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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