Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
