Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
