"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize