You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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