My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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