did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
