That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
