i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize