i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
