im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
