Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
My vagina just clenched in fear
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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