did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
