you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
