come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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